(My brother taught my niece to say "Mommy's got nice boobies!" while my sister in law was getting dressed. She used to shout that out loud in line at Stop and Shop!)

I was just thinking about how cool it is that I have readers who check in to read me regularly, and it makes me feel like Charles Dickens! Which made me think of the Bookshop sketch by Monty Python and good old Edmund Wells's classic book.. hence my title.

Sigh.. Bookshop makes me think of Brian #2 (in number of appearance) (and appropriate also if you want to think of just plain old Number Two) - we did have good times when he wasn't an asshole.

But I digress. I've got readers, actual readers! My exhibitionistic streak is jumping for joy! I saw that yesterday someone from Rhode Island read yesterday, which brings me back to when Chloe was born and Marty and Aimee were living in good old Pawtucket , right across from McCoy Stadium where you could watch PawSox games, and we could walk to the convenience store down the street (I guess they aren't bodegas in RI!) where they wouldn't sell Aimee cigarettes once she started to show. And Marty had his entire room devoted to the Dolphins (football, that is, not the mammal) so Aimee didn't have look at it, and she still had Rex, her gigantic iguana, and Duncan and Kramer were still kitties (and Duncan hadn't yet been eaten by coyotes, yikes!), and on Sundays we would watch Caught in Providence , "Rhode Island's first reality TV show!" Hey, I may have only visited a few times, but I've got good memories all around.

Have I mentioned, by the way, that I am fucking broiling? Ugh. This morning was rainy and looked chilly and so I wore a sweater and long pants and now I am so hot I just want to scream. It also doesn't help that the elevator is out and it won't be fixed until Monday and I work on the 8th floor and I ordinarily wouldn't mind that much, I could just get some exercise, I've still got the bronchitis, and I was wheezing like a motherfucker by the time I got up the stairs. Not looking forward to a repeat performance there.

While we were out waiting to go back in the building one of my co-workers started describing the bridesmaid dress she chose for her upcoming wedding. It's sleeveless, melon green to the bust, and then green plaid to the floor. I think it might be taffeta or chiffon or something. She swears up and down that it's pretty, but my god, I almost choked trying not to laugh. And I'm really glad I'm not a bridesmaid!

Oh, duh! I totally forgot to give you guys the Doug the Email Guy update! I wrote him back and said this:

"I haven't had the opportunity to write until now, but I've also been thinking about our correspondence and the possibility of us talking or meeting, and I have to say that I'm just too uncomfortable with where you are in your relationship with your wife to continue on. Although I've really enjoyed our emails, and you seem like a nice guy, I would rather stop things now before we met instead of waiting until later when it would be even harder. We are just in too different places and want too different things. I wish you lots of luck in getting through this difficult period and hope things look up for you."

I would rather have said "you remind me too much of my scary ex and why the hell are you trying to date when you're not even remotely close to being ready, you psycho?!" but I'm too polite for that.

He emailed me back and was reasonably okay about it, he wished me well and all that, but also said "I can't say I didn't see this coming" which sounded so self-pitying, and I just wanted to email back and say "what do you expect, Mr. Rebound?" but I didn't email again. No need to encourage these types. It's like stray cats - if you feed them, they'll come back.

I think I might need to get back to work now.