Friday was a lot of fun. I had lunch with my friend Olga whom I hadn't seen since February, I went and got my eyebrows waxed and my hair cut, and I looked great and felt even better. I was practically strutting my stuff down Broadway.

Then I get home and check the messages. Louis's sister called to leave a message along the lines of "you tried to get in but you couldn't, you assholes!!" Followed by a message in an oddly friendly, chatty tone from Louis explaining that he found out from his neighbors that I tried to get into the apartment (which is completely false).

At first I was mad, and then I started crying (although I was still mad.) I just want to get on with my life! I don't want to have any ties to him!! I think it's unconscionable that he's acting like this.

What hurt the most, though, was his sister. I had loved her as if she were my own sister. We used to go over to her place on Friday nights to watch Spanish soap operas (even though I couldn't speak or

understand a word of Spanish, which made it even more entertaining.) I gave her my old VCR because I wasn't using it any more and I wanted her and her kids to be able to use it. I babysat for her two autistic sons so she could get a well-deserved weekend away. (What a nightmare that was! Louis took the other two kids to a museum and dinner, while the two sons I watched peed on the floor and called me a fucking bitch because they were mad at me. But I did it because I loved her.) Her oldest son, who I completely adored and loved, would answer the door when I came over with a huge hug and call me his favorite aunt.

Dammit, I loved that family so much. All of them. I gave so muchto them, in energy and love and assistance and care. Intellectually I understand that yes, maybe his sister feels the need to take sides, but why call like that? It feels like a knife through my heart.

I didn't do anything wrong here! I left because he was hitting me!! What else was I supposed to do?? I know I did the right thing, but why on earth can't they leave me alone? I know I used some poor judgement during our relationship, but I feel like I'm being more than punished for it.