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Comments:
BStu - 2003-10-02 01:06:23
Hey, been there, done that. I'm kinda anxious about money myself, lately. The rents your paying actually sound amazing to me. I'm paying $550 a month to live in freakin Malden, for crying out loud. Not to mention $600 in student loans, $150 in personal loans and a few hundred in credit card bills. I mean, I get by, but that's it. I'm not saving, and I hate it. But, its what I have to do. But I'm furious with myself this week, as I lost my transit path within minutes of buying it and had to get another one. I've also screwed up a couple rebates. Just throwing money away, really, which annoys me to no end.
I also completely related with the roommate situation. Also, been there, done that. When I broke up with my ex, I had few options and just went along with moving in with a "friend". A "friend" who proceeded to never pay her utility bills and disappearing for weeks at a time, including on the first of the month. She also pissed off our insane to begin with landlord, who tried to raise our rent mid-lease and refused to understand that he couldn't do that. He also went balistic if we had someone spend the night. The two of them had me in constant fear and misery. Not to mention one of them stole $500 from me. So, though I can't give much advice on how to bring up the issue, I've been in similiar situations and just hope you can get it all worked out.
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BrianO - 2003-10-02 01:15:27
Yeah, adult stuff sure does suck. The problem is, that stuff doesn't go away. If you ignore, it sits and festers in your head until you explode. You have to talk with your roommate, but don't go into it thinking it's a confrontation. There's a chance you can talk it through without arguments or other bullshit.
But first things first, are you absolutely sure that's the total price of the rent? Was that a normal rent bill and not an off month (whatever that would mean.) Who pays utilities? You guys, the landlord? Just make sure you explore every avenue before assuming the worst.
Assuming you've done that, you and Keith get firm on what you want to happen. Think out all the things Cynthia could say and think about what you'd expect at the least and at the most. Don't expect an argument, but be ready for one.
That's the way I'd approach it. But no matter what happens, these things are always uncomfortable. Best of luck with it.
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Aimee - 2003-10-02 09:36:04
You guys are the best, thanks!! (As always.. :-)
BrianS, oh my god, that's horrible. I'm really glad you're out of that situation!!! ($550 to live in Malden.. is that your own apartment? That sounds heavenly!!) Yeah, the debt thing sucks, completely. (Articulate, eh?)
BrianO, the apartment being $1400 is not a stretch at all if it's rent stabilized. But I can go to the DHCR and find out the rent history - I think I'll do that on my lunch break tomorrow to be 100% sure. We (the people living in the apartment) are responsible for electric, gas, phone, cable, internet, etc. I believe the landlord pays for heat and hot water and that's it.
But I think you're right, non-confrontational is the way to go. Not bringing up "lawsuit" and "eviction" first thing.. :-)
Thanks again guys!
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Rose - 2003-10-02 10:28:45
This is definitely one of those times when you have to shove the distaste for confrontation aside-- and I share that distaste, believe me. I'd love to see you get the money she owes you back, but if you & Keith have decided not to go that route so be it.
Also, for a moment when reading your entry I thought the credit card fraud jerks had actually used "Lastname" as their last name.
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BStu - 2003-10-02 12:47:19
$550 is my share of a two bedroom. Its a nice size, but its also NOT a two bedroom. My roommate's room is very small. A glorified closet, really. The total rent is $1050, which doesn't include heat. Don't get me wrong, its a steal compared to the rents around here, but most places this far out of town are going for $1200-$1400 for the shit holes. Its even like that off the train lines, but its easier to find deals. For a three bedroom, $1400ish is unthinkable anywhere near Boston. You know, I can understand prices being that high in NYC, but I just don't get why Boston's are right there with them.
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Shalini Colony - 2003-10-02 14:52:33
Hmm, I should be responsible and help with you rent quandry, but really, I just want to know if I can start calling you "Octavioaimee." So can I? Pleeeeease?
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yi shun - 2003-10-02 15:01:07
Aimes,
Don't don't don't leave her a letter. It is a. far too easy to ignore, b. far too easy to pretend you never saw it and just swept it into the garbage by accident, c., totally passive agressive and kind of looks like you're not serious enough. It's MONEY, Aimes. It is real and you are going to go to sleep kicking yourself every night and worrying about it if you don't stop it. You and Keith are TWO. You are not in this alone. You can fix it together.
xoxo
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Aimee - 2003-10-02 15:05:53
Shalini: You can call me Octavioaimee any time, just in case you need a break from Aimee No Pants.
Yi Shun says: "totally passive agressive and kind of looks like you're not serious enough."
You're totally, totally right. It's just that I'm such a chicken! But part of the reason why I've gotten into the money woes I have is that I want to avoid standing up for myself. I guess that's just not an option anymore. Thanks for the encouragement and pep talk!
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BStu - 2003-10-02 15:53:21
I'm very much with you on the non-confrontational bit. My current roommate has a nasty habit of stealing my food, which I've tried to talk to him about repeatedly, but he keeps going back to doing it. Sometimes within hours of assuring me he won't do it anymore. I just don't know how to respond to that. I mean, I don't want to piss him off and end where I was last year, but I overlook a lot of things he does and the one thing I've been able to force myself to talk to him about, he keeps ignoring.
But, in the end, I think he ignored the letters the most. You definetly need to talk to her about this. Definetly do it with Keith and just be mindful of not making her feel put upon. I'm sure it will go well. Confrontation is always easier when you know you're right, and you are VERY right.
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Kell - 2003-10-02 16:44:58
I'm glad you've got experienced folk with advice re. the roommates. I never did pick up that living-with-roomies skill (unless they were friends first, which is different). I do agree about not leaving a letter, though, because that sort of thing just seems to really tick people off.
Meanwhile, woo hoo on your letter getting published, Octagon, or whatever your name is.
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Aimee - 2003-10-02 16:51:27
Brian: The food thing drives me crazy. Cynthia (or more likely, her boyfriend)doesn't do it to me so much as she does it to Keith (maybe he's got better food?), but it still happens, and it is enough to make you go crazy. I feel like it's one of those things that if you bring it up too often, then you look like you're petty or crazy, when it wouldn't be an issue at all if they just wouldn't eat your food. But somehow it winds up where they can posture like "geez, man, what's the big deal, it's just a little food!" It isn't little when you're on a tight budget. And you're right, Brian, it sure is helpful to be in the right when you bring these things up.
Thanks, Kell! I definitely wasn't expecting them to publish the letter, whoo hoo! Octagon, I like it...
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BStu - 2003-10-03 09:13:36
Exactly! I mean, if he took one can of soda ever, no big deal. A can a day? Well, that is sometimes as much as I take. And he takes all the good ones, too. ( I currently have, litterally, 13 kinda of soda in my fridge) And like you said, its not an issue if he just doesn't take them. I was at least a bit patient about it when he wasn't making much money, but now he makes more than me and isn't as much in debt. Sometimes he does it the same day he goes shopping, too!
Actually, I think he does it for the same reasons my psycho ex-roommate did it, which pisses me off, too. Which is, he is on a diet so he doesn't want to buy "junk" food. So he just takes mine. At least my ex roommate was chubby. My current one is thin as a rail but he's said a number of times that's he's trying to lose weight. Ugh. *rolls eyes*
But anyway...
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BrianO - 2003-10-03 12:58:33
Wow, Aimee, you really touched a nerve with this one. 12 comments! You'd think all you people lived in New York or something.
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Aimee - 2003-10-03 13:03:20
BrianS: 13 different kinds of soda? I don't think I could name 13 different kinds of soda! But I agree completely about the food thing.. frustrating as all hell! Maybe he's operating under the theory of "If I didn't buy it, the calories don't count!" (rolls eyes)
BrianO: I must admit, I'm impressed at the response! The majority of respondents don't even live in NYC.. perhaps they're all living vicariously through my rent travails.. :-)
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BStu - 2003-10-03 13:54:54
Pepsi, Pepsi Vanilla, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew LiveWire, Sunkist, Crush, Slice, IBC Orange Cream, Sierra Mist, 7-Up, Schwepes Ginger Ale, Minute Maid Lemonade, A&W Cream Soda. Oh, and I have a bottle of Nantucket Nectar's Lemonade Fizz which probably counts more than the MM Lemonade, so maybe that's 13. What can I say, I like variety. If Polar still made their Rasberry Lime Soda in cans, there would be one more, too. hehe
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BrianO - 2003-10-03 14:26:15
BStu: I can't believe you didn't mention Dr. Pepper. I'm outraged. You also seem to prefer Pepsi over Coke, another outrage. But all is forgiven since you mention IBC. They make the best root beer.
By the way, does RC Cola still exist? I remember I used to like it, but I haven't tried it in years.
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BStu - 2003-10-03 14:33:20
Blech! I hate Cherry flavored colas, Dr. Pepper included. And I vigorously prefer Pepsi over Atlanta's swill, and indeed all Pepsi products over those of CocaCola. Not a root beer fan, but IBC has a passable Cream Soda. Still, for a good Cream Soda, you have to pick up Hank's of Philadelphia. Aside from the beautiful dark bottles, it has a rich but smooth, crsip flavor that is easily my favorite brand of Cream Soda.
Not sure about RC, actually. I'm pretty sure Vigin Cola fizzled out after its splashy debut, and I thought it kinda took out RC in the process. I know I've seen it in the past year, but very infrequently. Have to check out independant convenience stores for that, much like the superior Orange Soda, Crush.
Man, I know too much about this.
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Kell - 2003-10-03 16:32:40
Concur re. Orange Crush. (I grew up near Lake Ontario, which may have something to do with this.) And, Schwepps produces the best of all possible things carbonated, dry like a crisp Chardonnay. All other ginger ales, etc. are bad White Zins in comparison (bleah). (Maybe they'll give us coupons for freebies after all these testemonials.)
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Aimee - 2003-10-03 17:35:40
You guys are killing me!! I love it! I have never thought this much about soda before.. :-)
I have to admit, I like diet soda - probably because I was drinking Tab when I was six.. :-) I don't drink much of it anymore, though, cause I'm trying to save pennies and all that aspartame can't be great for the system, I figure. But I don't like all the sugar in regular soda, it makes my teeth feel gross. So lately I've been drinking flavored seltzer, yum! But some sodas I do like, just for a fun treat: Jones NY Sour Apple (candy in a bottle, practically!), Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray (not too often; celery soda is not an every day kind of a thing!), birch beer, Dry Grape ginger ale, Cranberry ginger ale, Stewart's Orange & Cream, Key Lime, and Cherries $ Cream. And Cherry Lime Ricky.
And I love cherry colas!
Keep it up, guys, I might get to 20 comments!
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BrianO - 2003-10-03 23:41:21
Birch beer is absolutely the best. I've usually had it from the regional cola makers Foxon Park, but I've never had a bad bottle of birch beer.
And by the way, I think I just made your 20th post!
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BStu - 2003-10-03 23:49:46
*shudder* Celery soda? Glad I've not encountered that.
I've never liked Diet Soda. Don't get the point, since they taste so bad. I mean, plain water tastes SO much better. But, that might just be me.
I do dig Stewart's Orange & Cream, and I've been happy with some of the Jones sodas I've had, but they are near impossible to find. I highly recommend the Polar Rasberry Lime soda. Its just a delight. I think its a regional, so I don't know if it sneaks down to NYC, but its well worth a try.
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Aimee - 2003-10-04 00:48:40
Polar Raspberry Lime!!! That's the one I was trying to think of! Love that stuff. I don't know if it's in NYC, but I think so - if not, I can find it in CT.
Jones you can get in NYC pretty easy. There's a dollar store near where I work that sells them sometimes!!
Thanks, by the way, BrianO, for my 20th comment! Whoo hoo!
And BrianS, you'll be horrified to find out that Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray comes in diet! Are you sure you don't want me to bring some with me to MA? :-) You should read the reviews .
Amazing how much conversation one can generate over flavor preferences.. :-)
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BrianO - 2003-10-04 12:36:52
Wow! BeverageNet. That's awesome. I'm going to have to make that a regular stop.
I want to try this Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray soda. It sounds interesting. (I'm not sure it sounds good, but that's a whole other thing.)
And, no, I don't want this thread to die.
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Aimee - 2003-10-04 14:06:20
Good old Google - never would have found it otherwise. If you can't find Cel-Ray, lemme know, I'll be happy to pick some up for you. I haven't had any in about six years, so I don't remember what I thought about it. (Obviously, I wasn't in love, or I would have made it a point to have more.. :-) It definitely is... well... interesting.. :-)
Keep those soda comments coming!
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brian#1 - 2003-10-21 23:31:08
lots of comments, too little time to read through them all...
but this is a very interesting subject, considering my roommate situation...
you know, we've never eaten one another's food...i don't see why that's too much to expect...
and, yes, you should flay her ass over this rent situation...
bitch.
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