comments

Comments:

Shalini - 2003-07-18 17:09:22
just a note, that I wish were a hug.
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BrianO - 2003-07-18 17:20:10
Wow. This is what you write when you're in a good mood? Phew. Thank god you got away from The Louse. I never liked the guy (the few times I met him) but I had no idea how bad he was to you. You do realize he was Jim Jones-ing you, don't you? No sleep, little food, constant exercise, only his choice of music and entertainment and his constantly telling you how smart and important he was. Louse would certainly make a good dictator or cult leader. As for a human being, I'd be surprised if he was one.

Well, I'm glad you're feeling better and I hope this exorcized some of the crap he filled you with. Gah. Go out and have some fun, you deserve it.

(And Shalini summed up my feelings much better than I have.)
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Aimee - 2003-07-19 11:22:34
You guys are the best, thanks so much! Getting it out on paper (well, you know what I mean) gets it out of me, kills it. I feel like I wrestle it out and throw it to the ground in the light of day and it shrivels and dies and doesn't poison me anymore. But boy oh boy, the process of getting it out is damn exhausting!

Believe me, no one knew how bad he was to me - he was also really good at cutting me off from my support networks, and I've gotta give a lot of credit to my friends and family for not giving up on me even in all the frustration they must have had watching it all. Thank god he never had me drinking Kool-Aid.. ;-)

Thanks again, guys - I feel sufficiently hugged!!
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Cristin - 2003-07-19 11:51:29
Wow, thank goodness you got away from that asshole. I mean, I knew some stuff but I didn't know how absolutely insane the emotional abuse was. I'm so glad you've freed yourself so that you can share your amazing self with others (and by others I, of course, mean me since you're such a super cool friend). :o)
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BrianO - 2003-07-19 12:14:48
May I suggest that this might be a good place to send the Louse?
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BStu - 2003-07-19 16:17:22
Let me add to the hugs. I also really want to thank you for sharing this. In addition to being cathartic for yourself, its really informing for me and makes what someone goes through in an emotionally manipulative relationship. Its something that can be really hard for someone to understand when they haven't go through that (and, apparently, even when they have), so that really helps to see what you were going through and how this scum manipulated you. I still cannot understand what motivates "people" like him, but it helps to know more about what someone who was subjected to that behavior went through. Thank you, and ((((hugs))))
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Aimee - 2003-07-20 01:34:14
I love The Dick List! What a great idea! I think I'll pull together a comprehensive account of what I went through with him and put it out there for warning.

And thanks, BrianS and Cristin for the added support and hugs, I'm still somehow so surprised and delighted that I can confess such ugly things about myself (or what feels like ugly things about me) and you all still care about me so much. Intellectually it makes total sense, but emotionally, well, it's harder to wrap my mind around. But thanks thanks thanks thanks!

It is still difficult to acknowledge how badly I was manipulated - I often still think "but I was too smart for that!" and then I have to realize that being smart doesn't make you immune. And more than anything, I realize how much I couldn't see, I couldn't take in the information to evaluate things for what they really were. And I have to be compassionate toward myself; I did the very best I could with what I had.

Thank you all again for being here for me!
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Aimee - 2003-07-20 01:34:16
I love The Dick List! What a great idea! I think I'll pull together a comprehensive account of what I went through with him and put it out there for warning.

Thank you all again for being here for me!
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Cristin - 2003-07-20 21:36:12
Bark (((Aimee))) That was a hug from Dino :o)
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Aimee - 2003-07-20 21:51:44
Awwww, do I get a big old sloppy bone-breath kiss too? (Hmm, on second thought, I think I'll stick to the hugs!!)
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brian1 - 2003-08-05 16:15:26
i am going to have this bastard's tiny little balls on a plate. how DARE he. you have nothing to be ashamed about, Aimee. HE is the one who should be ashamed. HE's the vile low-life. HE's the one who's about to have the Lords of Karma invoked all over his pimply ass. give me something of his. if you still have it. if not, that's fine. i don't need it. i know EXACTLY where he is. motherfucker.
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brian1 - 2003-08-06 00:38:32
i read this again, and i want to kill him even more... well, my newest idea, actually, it total frontal lobotomy with life-long institutionalization (we're alreayd paying his meal ticket, might as well sequester him away from the rest of us). cold showers every morning. also, perhaps some form of castration is in order. can toddler dicks be castrated:? hmmmmm
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