Waking up to sunshine when I expected snow.

Looking out my window to see the wind whipping whitecaps on the Hudson.

(Having a window to look out of to see the Hudson!)

A particularly soft and chewy and yummy chocolate chip cookie.

Ben and I both waking up before the alarm, unintentionally, and getting to cuddle and chat before having to get up.

Good stuff.

I have been cleaning my place like a fiend (a well-paced fiend, amusingly enough) to get ready for my birthday party on Saturday, and wow, it feels great. The decrease in clutter. The unfettering and letting free of things I don't need. (Like the year's worth of Time Out New York issues - 'cause you never know when you'll need to know the movie listings from April 2003!) The increase in space. The hard work and grime and sweat and the good feeling of washing it all away at the end of the day. Last night I took every book out of one bookcase and dusted each one individually, then dusted the bookcase, and put everything back, slightly re-arranged - it took me 2-3 hours and you wouldn't really know I did it (unless you looked at the other bookcase for comparison - that one I tackle tonight!) but I know. It feels great. And it just leaves me feeling so tranquil to have a more harmonious space.

Last night Ben came over after school (he called to let me know he was on his way and I said, "I'm so glad you called - I have to clean up from cleaning up!" and we had a late but yummy dinner - eggplant parmesan with tortellini and caesar salad and garlic bread - and for a while we had the whole apartment to ourselves and it was just nice and quiet and relaxed. After dinner we wound up stretched out on my bed head to foot watching Seinfeld (I never watched Seinfeld until just recently - I am a recent convert but I love seeing all these episodes for the first time) and I curled myself up to rest my head on his belly (mmm, I couldn't stop myself from planting soft kisses on the small stretch of bare skin peeking out from his shirt) and he tickled me and told me that I've got shiksappeal as he pulled me closer and we just laughed all night. (How sad is it that we got almost just as much laughter out of Law & Order Special Victims Unit? I love L&O but man oh man, SVU is getting to be MST3K worthy.)

Not to bore you all with my cozy little details. But I'm so happy to be in a place where I'm satisfied and content, and it's not just Ben, even though a lot of it's Ben. I just feel like more and more, I am creating a home for myself, within myself, outside of myself, I have a place. (And my Ben, he is so much home to me.)

I have so often chased - today I'm going to enjoy this calm.