There is so much to catch you all up on, and I don't know if I'm gonna get there, because it's been a long day (I did the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk with Rose and a great group of temple folk and how I enjoyed the stroll through Central Park) and I'm quite sleepy, not to mention that it is absolutely broiling in here - they finally turned the heat on and boy did they ever; I'm running the air conditioner as we speak - and I am practically drooping and wilting and my eyelids are heavy and my bed beckons.

As does this page. So I'll stay here for a little while yet.

Wonderful trip to Massachusetts and oh, my girls. I am so so so in love with my nieces - as much as it is a shock to my system to be surrounded by the noise and chaos and constant demand of children, oh my girls. Forgive my waxing sentimental (not to mention cheesy as all hell), but Kari is just perfect - I would hold her as she squirmed and cooed against my chest and I would place the tiniest of kisses on her head, breathing in that heavenly baby scent. She changed, looked different, in the few days I was with her - she unwrinkled, unfolded like a blossoming flower.

And Chloe! I have never ever loved anyone like I love her. I am of course completely biased, but she is beautiful and hilarious and has this personality larger than life. I handed her something and she told me "you shouldn't give me that, that's a choking hazard!" She loves to run around reciting "when I get adult, I can say bad words! when I get adult, I can stay up late!" Marty told me that one day she was sitting quietly in the back seat when suddenly she burst out with " fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way." She is given to fits of hysterical laughter and giggles and throws herself on me with wild abandon, not one smidgen of reserve.

Oh, my girls.

And oh, how could I forget - Marty and Aimee and Neil and I went to Marty's friend's wedding last Saturday at 3:00 PM. Running a tad late, as we always do, we pulled into the parking lot at 3:05 - to find a completely deserted church. Marty and Neil both forgot their invitations and Marty must not have read it too closely, cause it wasn't where he thought it was! So the four of us drove around Waterbury (convulsed with laughter - only us!) looking for every church we could think of - and let me tell you, Waterbury's got lots of churches! We found the wedding just in time to have missed the ceremony, which, to be truly honest, didn't bother me all that much. The reception was a blast, and the bride was completely tickled at their blunder - so all was well.

About Boston: meeting Brian at the Museum of Science was a blast, and I'm looking forward to taking advantage again of the delightfully cheap Chinatown bus again, yet I was shocked at how unfamiliar Boston seemed to me. When we left the museum we walked past North Station, where I used to catch the commuter train every weekend, and the neighborhood was alien, foreign, not at all like my memories, just a few vestiges of my old haunt, and how humbling, to realize again how much the world moves on whether I'm there or not.

And a big shout out and thank you to Kell , who, when commenting on my second date confusion about Ben said, "A nice guy is a miracle. Enjoy the adventure" and I took her up on it and went on a record breaking third date with him last night. And something changed.

We went to the movies (we saw Intolerable Cruelty ; it wasn't the Coens' best, but it was enjoyable enough and a good date flick) and that so frustrating awkwardness was still there, those difficult silences, but it was good to see him anyway. We went to dinner at an Italian restaurant in the East Village and we stumbled through conversation and while I'm sure the bottle of wine we shared didn't hurt, it did begin to get somewhat easier. We talked about riding bikes in the city and how he picked up some Chinese from a teach-yourself-Chinese book and his parents' divorce and how he and his mom and me and my dad never say "I love you" unless we write it in email. After we ate and the restaurant emptied some he took my hand from across the table and told me "you know, I really like you," and I put my other hand in his and smiled and told him, yes, I like you too, and as we held hands I began to tell him just the broadest brush strokes of my louse story, in order to explain why I'm really gunshy and nervous and awkward - my past, this is why. I think he was a bit surprised but he expressed his regret and as I apologized a bit for such an uncomfortable subject he dropped his head to my hand and began to kiss my hand, my fingers (still interlaced with his), and I just stopped, frozen from the shock. At the incredible (and so unexpected) intimacy of the softness of his barely parted lips on my skin. At the blast of sensation that blew through my entire body with no warning.

He reached across the table to touch me, to run his fingers up and down my arms. He rested his hand on my bare skin above the neckline of my dress, and I kissed each fingertip, took his hand in mine to press against my cheek as I sighed and arched my neck and my eyes fluttered closed in satisfaction as he leaned across the table to kiss me, deeply, in our solitary dim corner of the nearly empty restaurant.

We left - I was so weak in the knees, unsteady from the wine and the surprise and an arousal I hadn't felt in so very long - and as soon as we left the doorway of the restaurant he folded me into his arms, into another kiss, right in the middle of Avenue A, absolutely oblivious to our surroundings. We must have kissed for half an hour at least (and my god, I love this city: my love letter to New York, to stand in her streets lost in passionate embrace and be nothing more than a momentary diversion), stopping only to catch my bearings, my breath.

He suggested going home together and I told him no, I'm not ready, soon, but not yet, and he understood. As we walked to the subway, his arm across my shoulder and mine across his waist, I told him, you can come over, if you like, on Tuesday. Just to let you know, I told him, I don't know what I'm ready for just yet. But you can still come over. And he said yes, and he understood. At the subway entrance at 14th and 1st we kissed goodbye and couldn't stop - we would try to part, and still came back, just one more kiss, one more touch, and finally he made his way down the stairs to the L train, and I ambled across 14th street under the crisp night air in a leisurely and entirely satisfied saunter , on my way home.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Only 24 hours later and I am still stunned (and all day I would be caught off guard by frissons of memory; aftershocks, purely physical). And of course, there is some day-after anxiety; is anyone surprised? Not the usual constant litany, but rather occasional thoughts of now what? what comes next? now that my interest has been piqued, does that mean I'll never hear from him again? can I deal with the idea of maybe at some point being naked in front of someone again? as much as I've lamented the single life, am I ready to possibly be a tiny bit less single? But I'm just gonna ride them out, what else can I do?

But bed for me now, and sweet dreams indeed.