While I was brushing my teeth (before jumping in the shower), I was reading the latest issue of Time Out New York . (For those of you out-of-towners, it's basically a snobby, elitist entertainment guide with a great film section; I got the membership for free.) Anyway, one of their columnists was writing about the new NYC school for gay teenagers and how he originally thought, "what's next? A school for fat kids?" and then went on to say that "Also, sexual preference is innate. While fat kids can lose weight, gay kids basically face two choices: hide who they are, risk getting the crap beat out of them." (I'm writing this thinking, hey, at least they can hide.)

Well, that just ticked me the hell off. Sure, it may have just been a few sentences, casually made off the cuff, but more than anything, that's what pissed me off the most. The attitude of "hey, it's okay if some fat kids get picked on, THAT'S no big deal."

So, you know what I did? I wrote a letter. The minute I got out of the shower I turned my computer back on and wrote a letter. Mind you, I have never written a letter to the editor in my life. I always read the letters people in the fat acceptance groups share and think to myself, "wow, I wish I had that kind of self-respect and nerve to write something like that." Well, today, I must have found it, because I wrote that letter and signed my full name and emailed it immediately. I don't think they'll publish it, but even if they do, and in effect it means "coming out" as fat and not apologizing about it to anyone I might know who reads the magazine, big goddamn fat deal. I just hit the wall tonight.

So here's my letter:

"I am in complete agreement with Howard Halle ("Milking It", TONY 416) that gay high school students should be have a safe haven from homophobic slurs and assaults by their peers. However, I take issue with his blithe dismissal of another segment of the student body who is regularly subjected to similar mistreatment: fat kids. Halle says, "what's next? A school for fat kids?... sexual preference is innate... fat kids can lose weight." The implication that fat kids should just lose weight in order to avoid ostracism and torment is insulting and belittling to the very real abuses that fat kids also face. Being fat is very often not a choice, but that (whether or not you agree with it) is not even the point. Schools should protect all their students, no matter whether their differences are innate, completely voluntary, or anywhere in between. The Harvey Milk School has the right idea, but it's not just gay kids who need a safe space to learn - it's every single student."

I know I don't always talk about my new-but-growing involvement in fat politics, and when I do, it's not always very directly. I've been thinking a lot about that, and I've wanted to talk about it more, and I will. But not tonight. This pissed off (although not as much after writing that letter) fat chick needs her sleep! But if the whole idea is new to you, and you want to have an idea of what I'm talking about, read this for a starter.

By the way, have I mentioned that I just really love being me lately? I would be tempted to call that arrogance or egotism, but for those of you who know what I've gone through in the past year+, you'll know that it is a very good thing indeed.