I know that part of this is just that hell, it's easy to love a city when you're on vacation, when you've budgeted for lots of fun, but ohmigod, I can't believe I have to leave.

I wish I could make SF just a quick, cheap ride from New York, like the commuter train to CT.

Some part of me (a whole lotta me) just wants to pick up and move out here.

I don't think I would - I love my family and my friends and NYC is so much my home.

But damn, I feel so at home here too. If nothing else, I'm gonna come back regularly!

Tonight I get to meet Marilyn, we're gonna go to Jennifer's aerobics class (and damn, I ripped my toenail too short on my big toe and that's gonna hurt! I'm already walking too slowly as it is) and then Saturday AM is the fat women's swim in Oakland, whoo hoo!, and then a BBW dance at night, I'm gonna wear my cherry dress from Torrid, and I would love to get swept off my feet by some cute guy who wants me to move out here (and a girl can fantasize, that's all it is!!), and today I'm going to go to the Castro district and Haight-Ashbury and maybe the Exploratorium (although maybe I'll wait until tomorrow to do that, I'll have more time), and oh, that's right, there's also a fat burlesque show on Saturday or Sunday too! So much to do, and yet I'm so relaxed.. :-)

Yesterday I hung out with Heidi and she's awesome, so beautful and sweet and she's got the best voice, and she's just delightful, and we swapped dating horror stories and went shopping and went to Muir Woods for real (when I went with Steve, we just went for about 20 minutes because it was late in the evening, just enough time to smoke a bowl, which will crack Marty up!) Then in the evening I hopped the bus right in front of the hostel and it took me right to Fort Mason where they had a play that I wanted to see, it was done by this company that takes short stories and performs them Word for Word (their name) and this one was about Lizzie Borden and I knew her story so well already and it was a marvelous execution (no pun intended, really!) and while I waited for the show to start I talked to this delightful older woman, probably in her 70s, who wore a bright yellow hat with wooden parrots on it, and she told me about how she lived in NYC when she was a young girl and then came here, and it was just such a charmed evening, I can't possibly do it justice right now, but I want to get it all out on paper, I don't ever want to forget this trip.

Okay, I think my hour is just about up, so off I go to grab breakfast and some sightseeing!!