I'm on vacation, hence the visit with the folks and hence the being up at such an ungodly hour. My dad and I went to go see Queensryche and Dream Theatre at the Oakdale here in CT and it was a blast of a show, it was wild to listen to Queensryche again, I listened to them non-stop in high school, early high school, when I was a loner and resentful and the angry lyrics raging against injustice (juxtaposed with overblown dramatic religious imagery and big hair) spoke to me. Listening tonight I was totally brought back to all the places of my adolescence: long walks around the neighborhood that became a pattern and each song recalls a specific stretch of my walk, a neighbor's house, Washington Park with its cannons and stone walls and swimming pool, the incline of Sylvan Avenue as it reached toward Pearl Lake, my street. Lying in bed at my grandmother's house, eyes closed and drifting in and out of sleep as I sank deeper and deeper into the sound.

I am so sleepy yet not really. I suspect I would fall asleep if I laid down (I don't know if I used that correctly; it's such a hole in my usually impeccable grammar) but I am not feeling compelled just yet.

My vacation week got off to a very unexpected rough start; I'm really not at liberty to talk about it, as it's problems of friends and not really of my own (to be more exact, I am affected, but incidentally and secondarily) and there are lots of things that I've been thinking about around these events and I may eventually write about them if I feel it would not be a breach of privacy.

One thing that I probably am at liberty to say is that I have come to a stronger realization that as much as I can feel others' pain, and that's a good thing, I am getting much better at keeping my persepective and not losing myself in the lives and problems of others. I'm happy about that, proud. It's been a long road getting there.

Speaking of long roads, here I am talking about all of this stuff and it's in the forefront of my mind, and yet as rough as things are I'm also delightfully happy and optimistic and I have been itching to get it out on paper, spill it forth and make it more real (as if the act of putting words on paper cements them).

Last night I went on a surprisingly wonderful date - surprisingly so because it was a blind internet date and those never work out so well, it seems - and today I've just been brimming over with swoony, smitten-y feelings. Yes, I had the same things going on when I met Richard, and yes, Richard wound up not being at all who I'd hoped he'd be, and I am well aware that this could be the case here. But the woman writing today, two days shy of her own independence day anniversary (July 11th, 2002 - the day I left Louis, and Brian told me that afternoon "Seven-Eleven, you'll never forget it), anyway, she's a completely different person than the naive girl who walked blindly, delusionally, into the Louse's trap. So I am confident that I can enjoy these swoonings and still rely on myself to protect myself from harm.

But anyway, the story!

You may remember my Tale of Two Personal Ads entry (not the real name, but how I think of it; I rather like it, if I may admit), constrasting the scary guy who postulated that I might have been corresponding with the future father of my children with the guy who just wanted to see a movie with me. Well, Mr. Movie was not making idle promises - we went out on Monday.

I am also doing this story a great disservice and I hope tomorrow I can polish it up! (it's tomorrow now, and nah, I'm feeling lazy.)

So, a bit about Gideon - Mr. Movie - and his ad, my response, etc. His ad was one of the rare articulate, thoughtful, and non-sexual ads i'd seen on the site (a plus-size personals site), and although he said that he was "Jewishly committed" and looking for someone who was as well, I wrote anyway. I told him how much his ad stood out and how much I enjoyed it and that I would understand if he weren't interested since I'm not Jewish (I did throw in my Mom's "Jewish by tuition" Brandeis joke), but that I figured it was worth a chance.

He wrote back along the lines of "your ad is awfully appealing, and you write beautifully, how could I not respond?" and each correspondence with him since has been a joy. We both independently described ourselves as "voracious readers" in our profiles, and we share a great passion for indie film, and have enjoyed discussing it, and our reactions, which led to him asking me if I would like to meet him for a movie.

And unlike the Runaway Author, Gideon has been faithful in responding to me; he said he would call me Monday morning, and he did, at 11:00 on the dot. He already had a movie and restaurant in mind - he actually was going through with plans! - and he also asked me if they were something I would enjoy and we could totally change them - he was actually being considerate! So we agreed to meet at the Union Square Zen Palate Monday evening, and when I asked him how I would know him, he just said that he would be wearing a light green suit. We hung up and I realized that hello, I really haven't the faintest idea what he looks like - he didn't post a picture. I was a bit worried that he might be this great guy that I just wouldn't be attracted to. But when I got to the restaurant, I found him immediately (and the suit wasn't garish, as the description had led me to believe; it was actually very understated and looked fine) and wow, he's adorable! He's about 6', skinny, brown hair and eyes, wears round wire glasses, and is totally geeky cute, which I just love. He asked me "so, do i look like what you pictured?" and I blurted out "no, you're much cuter!"

And we talked all evening, effortlessly, enjoyably. He used the word "indolent" in a sentence naturally, part of his own personal speaking vocabulary, and I practically swooned over just that. He's 39, a lawyer, and one of the least lawyerly people I've ever met. And he's just tremendously bright - he went to Harvard at sixteen (and admitted that he was awkward and lonely in college, and I was so touched that he offered that) and was a Greek major and he's studied Sanskrit and taken swing dance lessons and even tried to learn to play the bagpipes and he has struck me as considerate and kind and a bit shy yet completely engaging - we talked all throughout dinner and then after the movie we sat on someone's stoop on West 12th street and talked for hours and I told him a bit about the Louse and he was completely understanding, very empathetic, and I kept just wanting to take his hand (during the movie I was constantly distracted by the fact that his arm was touching mine, and the little rushes I would get when he would move) and we rode the subway together and as we approached his stop I confessed how much I enjoyed his company and would love to do it again, and he said he felt the same way, and he hugged and kissed me goodbye and yep, I'm all swoony.