Had more weird dreams last night/this morning.. I dreamed that I was in my bedroom (although it was bigger than my real bedroom, and much lovelier; I had a yummy four poster bed instead of my futon, and it was much less cluttered than in real life) and it was dark but candle-lit, very romantic, and I was with a man who was a new lover (interestingly, he struck me as a combination of Noyan, the old roomie, and Doron, Andi's husband) and we were slow dancing in the candlelight. Basically one of those dreams where my real-life love life (what love life?, you might ask) pales in comparison.

Later on I dreamed that my family was holding some kind of event that was a combination of a tag sale and a sporting event; I believe that you got to run or bike or swim, and when you were finished, you got to pick out an item from the tag sale tables, which were actually quite elaborately set up -instead of using just folding card tables, the items were displayed in huge curio cabinets with lots of tiny drawers to sift through. Most of the offerings were chintzy and cheap, but some of them were not - my mom showed me a purple velvet pouch or bag with silver fairie jewlery inside that either she wanted to keep, or wanted to give to me.

I had really wanted to either swim or bike, but for some reason I found myself in my bedroom instead (this time it was much more like my current bedroom!) and I was talking to this girl Debbie from my yoga class (more about her later). We were laying on the bed just chatting about stuff and suddenly we were naked (both of these things - being in the bedroom and being naked - were instantaneous and out of my control, they just happened). Being naked didn't really register or anything, I just kept talking to her, but then she started fondling my nipple and I really wasn't into that, I wasn't feeling sexual at all and I wasn't attracted to her and I didn't want to be touched like that.

Right after she touched me, my parents came in (I believe my clothes also came back on) and my dad asked me, "why didn't you come to the event? you missed out on all the fun and there are no more prizes left!" I was really upset because I had really wanted to go swimming, and I cried out, "but no one came to get me!" and my dad replied "well, we were waiting for you to show up, but you never did!" and I started crying, sobbing like a little kid (I felt like I was Chloe, actually, when she gets too tired or upset and overreacts and she can't stop crying).

I don't remember much else, just that my grandfather who died last year was in the bathroom across the hall from where we all were, and he was yelling something; not maliciously, just grumpily like he always did. And my Frankie was in the hallway sitting right by the door and I got to pet him and it was great, it wasn't a big tearful reunion, it was just as if he'd never died at all (the same feeling I had about Grandpa, too.)

Not at all sure about what the dreams mean, although I suspect the whole thing about me waiting to be summoned for the event has something to do with my dissatisfaction about not being more of a self-starter/initiator. (Is that just part of one's basic personality/temperment? Can I change that? Scary questions for a deeper entry!)

Funny, Brian and Rose have been writing about their dreams lately too. Theirs are much more interesting and complex than mine!

Speaking of odd dreams, I once dreamed that I was walking alongside a very deep ditch, and Annette Bening was laying in the ditch completely stark naked. She had her eyes closed and her arms to her sides and was completely calm - and resting right on her crotch was a ham sandwich. We're talking ham and swiss on rye, with curly lettuce and tomatoes - a real double decker photo-op sandwich. Sitting right on top of her pubic hair. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a pack of wild dogs rushed up and gobbled the sandwich without touching anything else, and Annette Bening merely laid as still and quiet as she started off.

Now, if anyone can tell me what that dream means, I'll buy you a ham sandwich!!

So anyway, this Debbie girl from yoga. She came to my yoga class a few times about two months ago, and since she lives in Riverdale, we would wind up on the train together. The first couple of times we rode together, I found making conversation with her difficult; she was really quiet and didn't respond much to anything I said. But she seemed nice enough, so when she suggested we get together sometime and exchange phone numbers, I said OK and gave her mine. So, long story short, we went out one week and tried to see a play (didn't work) and last night we went to see Finding Nemo which wasn't my first choice, but it was cute and light and entertaining, and we talked over dinner at this cheapo pasta place in Times Square (just an aside - I love the AMC Empire 25, the screens are great and the chairs SO comfy and they show a few indies too - that's where I saw Amelie). And anyway, we got to talking and Debbie opened up some.. her mom died four years ago of cancer and her dad has cancer now, and a lot of her grandparents' family died in the Holocaust - geez, no wonder she was so quiet and somber! I'm glad that I didn't just automatically dismiss her because she's not as dynamic as most of my friends; I used to be exceptionally, painfully shy, and I still can lapse into that.