2003-06-04 @ 9:57 p.m. | Embarrassment Galore!

Song in my head: Hold Your Head Up by Argent

Mood: delightedly cheerful, despite the embarrassment

Current book: it's gonna be The Stand for quite a while, I bet


How totally embarrassing is this?

I'm hanging out with Keith tonight because Brian is at acting class, and we were watching TVland. Fantasy Island came on, and when Tattoo came on to yell "Da plane, boss, da plane!", Keith yelled out, "Oh my god, he looks like Louis, only little!" I am ashamed to admit that yes, he's got a point. I have been struck with horrified giggles all night long.

And then, for some reason, I remembered to look up the Mullet Rock CD that I'd seen advertised in The Onion, and holy lord, not only do I know just about every song on that CD, I really like most of them. Can I ever hold my head up (hee-hee!) with pride? Am I doomed to like loser rock forever?

And last night I confessed to Jill that as a teenager, instead of crushing on New Kids on the Block or Menudo or whomever, I had a pretty big torch for the members of Yes. Ah, gimme those 20 minute keyboard solos anytime, Rick Wakeman!!

It's just shameless revelation night, folks!

I'm also pretty happy too because this afternoon Richard gave me a call; he wanted to apologize for not emailing me back (I sent him a very light email yesterday thanking him for a fun time) - he said that since he writes all day, he's not so good about writing email, but he wanted to call and say hi and see if I wanted to meet him for a few minutes on break while he was on his walk. (He walks daily from home - West 80s or 90s, I think - to Grant's Tomb, which is just a few blocks from my office.) I said yes - I took a Richard run instead of a coffee run - and we chatted for ten minutes and laughed and he told me that I was effervescent and had lovely hair (and NO ONE has ever told me that!) and he kissed me gently (no tongue - that's very important!) and asked to see me tomorrow.

(BTW, I was able to read an interview with him and see his picture. He doesn't look quite like that; he looks paradoxically a little younger, and a bit heavier, and not as brooding, but at least I know it's really him, and not, as Keith suggested, some random guy who just chose a random author to try to impress me with.)

So I will see him for lunch tomorrow - he suggested after work, but I've got a union meeting (as he said, "how Norma Rae!") and yoga class, and I am so proud of myself for not cancelling. I'm embarrassed to admit that I would in the past have easily have tossed my committments to the wind to be wooed by some man, but I've got a full and fun and fulfilling life and I don't intend to amend that. I've made that mistake before, and boy, do I know what trouble that gets me into!

So I'm just going to have fun enjoying his company - and remember that I have just as much to bring to the table as he does - and keep my head about me, and fill all my friends in on what's going on for well-needed reality checks. When I first met Louis I really withdrew into this concept of us and didn't talk too much about him, because I didn't want anyone to say to me, "hey, he doesn't have a job and sits home all day, is that healthy?" or something like that.

Now I'm inviting commentary!

But more than anything, I'm just gonna continue living my life, cause what else am I gonna do?

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