A few months ago I was over Jill's house when her neighbor Jen came over with her (Jen's) boyfriend Ben.. I'd heard about them but never met them. They're both like 20, 21 tops. Jen had stolen some money from Jill so I was predisposed to not liking her but I also figured that if Jill had forgiven her, I'd let it go. Ben I had no issue with.

Meeting them was non-eventful. I didn't dislike them, I sort of enjoyed their company, whatever, although I got this odd flirty vibe from Ben, but I thought it was aimed at Jill too, and I dismissed it. The next time I saw them - the next day maybe? - Ben made it a point to give me a big hug while I was in my (very modest) PJs and basically gave off more flirty vibes, but I didn't think too much of that either.

Well, turns out that after that 2nd encounter, Ben tells Jill that he thought I was SO beautiful, and SO intelligent, and SUCH a wonderful woman, you get the picture - and I must admit I was totally flattered. No one has been that complimentary toward me in years. Long story short, he wanted to talk to me on the phone... Jill told him flat out that I wouldn't get involved with him because he's in a relationship (entirely true -been there, done that, see OMG), but I said, hey, we can have a conversation, but that's it. I didn't have any ulterior motives other than, yes, I'll admit it, I wanted to bask in a bit of positive attention. But I knew I didn't want anything else.

So last week/two weeks ago we talked on the phone for about an hour and it was completely uneventful and I was in no rush to do it again - for someone so enthralled with me, he didn't exactly evidence much interest in much I had to say, and I was somewhat underwhelmed myself. No bad feelings, just not much of anything. So, I didn't call him back and he never called me back - I thought that was the end of the story.

Well, this past weekend I spent Saturday night over Jill's.. she happened to mention it to him, and he asked her if he could bring me back to the train station instead of her (and instead of just calling me and asking me - what, is she my pimp or something?) (Now, my friends, that is an enjoyable flight of fancy - my vivid mental picture of Jill in full pimp regalia!)

I thought about it and realized I didn't feel comfortable with the idea -I felt he was gonna try something with me - and I told him no (we were text messaging). I was polite about it, I just said I was in the mood to be alone, maybe some other time. He was kinda pissy about it (and that's something, when the depth of your pissiness comes through on a text message!) but I didn't care, it was well within my right to say no, and I didn't think another thing about it.

Well (and you knew I had to have a well, or else why on earth would I go on and on with such a relatively uninteresting story?) Jill just told me tonight that after I told him no, Jen called him, and he was angry and furious and wouldn't (of course) tell her what was going on. He wanted to get drunk, get high, get fucked up.. so they went to a party and he freebased cocaine because he was so angry at my "rejection."

Then today he went to see Jill, while he was on something or another, and talked about how worried he was about me, he thought I sounded depressed (because I didn't want to go out with him?) and something must be wrong with me.

Lest you've forgotten, Dear Reader (been reading too much Stephen King lately!) - I met the man twice, and spoke to him once. That's it. Perhaps ninety minutes of my lifetime, and that's a generous estimate. Does his behavior and "concern" not seem just the tinest bit presumptuous?

Then he proceeded to stomp around Jill's room muttering about how he wanted to score cocaine (ah! but he was just joking!) and how he wanted to destroy things (and didn't even pass that off as a joke) and then hit her up for money! And berated her when she wouldn't do it!

Forgive me for the exclamation marks, but I'm appalled. I may smoke the wacky tobaccy once in a while, and if this makes me a hypocrite, so be it, but I am exceedingly uncomfortable with cocaine, and want nothing to do with someone who uses. Hell, even regular pot heads are people I don't want to get into relationships with (good thing I'm not looking to date Marty and Neil!) And this guy's rages, and inappropriateness, and inability to take no for an answer?

I'm not ever seeing him again (Jill happens to be moving this week and will not give him her forwarding address, and all he knows is that I live in New York), I won't take his phone calls or his text messages, that's it. This should serve as a reminder to me to not even bother talking to guys with girlfriends, but more than that, a reminder to stay away from guys with these kinds of personality problems. Run far, run fast.