OMG and I worked together at my old job over three years ago. We were friendly, and I always enjoyed his company, but I never thought much of him beyond that - he's a little dull, nebbishy (think of Eugene Levy), and six months older than my dad. But soon before he left, he really started flirting with me, and damn, the attention was heady. I was lonely, I hadn't felt pretty or sexy in the longest time, and here was this guy who thought I was smart and sexy and appealing, who fantasized about me, and I'll admit it, the fact that he was married was tantalizing - I imagined that I was so damn irresistable that it would make OMG forget his marriage vows. (This is years ago, please remember before you judge - now I realize that his attraction to me had much more to do with an already unhappy marriage.)

Long story short, after he left the company, we fooled around a few times. The getting-there was exciting - the actual fooling around was not so much. He would only kiss me, and then let me go down on him. He didn't want his wife to find out, he was afraid that if he touched me, she'd smell me on him or something (ugh!) The first time was alluring enough - his desire for me was palpable - and then after that, I became disillusioned quickly. He told me later that although he wouldn't sleep with me, he would sleep with a mutal friend if she were so inclined. We got together maybe twice, three times after that, and then I left the company and started working at CU and then met the SDM. (So many acronyms!)

OMG still worked with the same mutual friend, and heard about me leaving SDM through her, and offered to take me out to dinner. We had a very good conversation, talking about the abuse, and 9/11, and he didn't flirt, and I sure as hell didn't have any sexual feelings toward him anymore, so I thought we could go back to the friendly status we had before.

But as we ran into each other more through my friend, he began to hit on me again. He even said "I'm glad to hear you're feeling better emotionally, now I can hit on you again," and one time as he drove me home from dinner, he told me "you know, you could give me a blowjob if you wanted to - hah, hah, just kidding!" later adding, "well, if you really wanted to, you could.." I told him no, but I didn't tell him to go away.

So he's been emailing, and I've been ignoring him, but I don't know what words to use to say, stop it, I'm offended, this isn't what I want, no more. (Maybe those? :-) I feel like of course I can say no to hooking up, but not no to being friends, to being in contact. I'm going to hurt his feelings by shunning him, but I also don't want that kind of energy in my life anymore. I don't want to see him, I don't enjoy his company, enough.

Now just to tell him that without being cruel.