Song in my head: Psycho Killer

Mood: totally anxious

Current book: From a Buick 8 by Stephen King

Work has been so frantic that I haven't posted in ages. I need to get set up at home so I can write after work. I don't know what's going on with me - if it's the war or what - but I just feel like I'm jumping out of my skin and I find myself about to cry and I just feel anxious and jumpy and nervous and I've been dreaming about the SDM a lot and I don't feel at all refreshed when I wake up and every time I go out on dates - which has been sort of regularly - I'm okay until they touch me and then I tense up and want to run screaming for the hills. I am SO tense. I am so suspicious and edgy. Yet I don't feel particularly depressed. I'm in a relatively good mood, I don't feel totally sluggish (just need to exercise more, eat a bit better) - I just feel antsy. Not to mention the huge undercurrent of anger and hatred I have for the fucker still. Not too healthy. But I'm so glad it's not depression. I feel like my hands are shaking, just a bit, just a tremble. And I feel sort of nauseous - not like I ate something bad, just like my stomach is jittery too. I'm a bit frustrated that it's been 9 months and I'm feeling like this now but I suspect it's some delayed reaction, triggered maybe by the tension in the city and the world. I'm gonna go see someone as soon as I can. I don't want it to get worse. Ironically, I'm really happy for the most part. I have become fast friends with Andi and Doron and Cristin, and I'm content with my life for the most part, and I'm taking my wicca classes that I love, and my family and friends are wonderful.. it's just dealing with this stuff. I can do it, and I will - I am just not thrilled about it.