2002-10-09 @ 3:23 p.m. | A little bit later

Song in my head:

Mood:

Current book:


My body aches with anger - I feel it in my back especially, but also my shoulders and head. I've been trying to relax the best I can. I've ranted and raved. I ate chocolate. I went to St. John's Cathedral to touch the columns made of tons of granite that stretch up to the sky to feel smaller (in a good way.)

It's helping.

What I really want to do is go to the gym and fly on the cross-trainer while listening to Rage Against the Machine, but of course I can't do that, because the SDM (Shalini will know what I'm talking about!) has my CDs.

I have never known someone so selfish in my life, except maybe my uncle Rick, and SDM has given him a run for his money.

Enough enough enough.. i have good people in my life, I have a good life.. I may be in a small room paying too much money, and he may be in a gorgeous apartment that used to be my home, he may be dicking me over left and right with his power games, but I've got my health and my safety and my heart and my goodness and my integrity and a ton of love in my life. I always wanted him to share all of my good stuff too, but he threw it out. It's his loss, his sad, lonely, empty life that HE CHOSE, the fuckwad.

Yes, healing is a long road.


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